Although your romantic relationship with your ex has ended, the truth is that your relationship as co-parents of your children will continue. So now is the time to work together to develop an effective co-parenting plan that works for both of you and is uniquely in your children’s best interests. An effective co-parenting plan may very well keep you out of court and place the responsibility of caring for your children with you and your ex rather than with a judge. Start with these practical tips:

1. Identify the key values ​​you share with your ex about how your children should be raised. For example, maybe you and your ex agree that you both want to be positive role models for your children, or you both value respect for yourself and others and want to impart this to your children.

2. Make a list of issues or decisions that need to be made for your children. For example, you may need to decide what school your children will attend, what is the best parenting time for your children, who among you will make decisions about doctors, guardians, or other specialists, and how those decisions will be made. This list will often change as your children get older and become more involved in school and extracurricular activities.

3. Develop effective ways to communicate with each other about these and other important issues that come up regarding your children. When you communicate effectively with each other, you set a positive role model for your children and build your own strength. For example, during a conversation, go beyond your own personal needs and interests to be fully present in what your ex is saying. Listen to understand where he or she is coming from. When responding, you can first clarify what has been said by beginning your response with “It sounds like you said…” This can be difficult and challenging, especially at first, but it’s worth it. For help with this, I recommend Sharon Ellison’s book, Don’t Be So Defensive: Taking the War Out of Our Words With Powerful Non-Defensive Communication and Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher and Bill Ury.

4. It may be helpful to consult with an experienced family therapist or parenting coach to help you communicate with each other to create an effective parenting arrangement and/or parenting schedule that is unique to your children’s needs. Please bring the above lists to use as a guide and be flexible in making any changes. You’d be surprised what a good therapist or trainer can accomplish for a fraction of the time and cost of going to court! If you would like a list of local experts for this purpose, please contact me.

5. Keep a journal to record significant events that occur while the children are with each of you, particularly if the children are very young. This must be a diary exchanged between the two of you. You can record entries such as what time your child took a nap each day, what he ate, any milestones reached such as crawling, running, if your child was sick, or whatever you think is important and useful for your ex to know.

6. Read the book Mom’s House, Dad’s House: Making Two Homes for Your Child by Isolina Ricci, Ph.D., or visit http://www.momshousedadshouse.com. These offer some very valuable tips and additional resources for co-parents.

7. Take advantage of the “Our Family Wizard” website, which includes a calendar for coordinating shared parenting time online, among other tools, to help you communicate effectively with each other. The website can be found at http://www.ourfamilywizard.com. For example, the calendar and surrounded by the forest Buddha came here they say. , and was followed some 2,000 years later by Guru Nanak, founder of the Sikh faith. Born in 1469, hailed as a child prodigy in divine affairs, Guru Nanak traveled a lot and declared that there is no Hindu, there is no Muslim. Sikhism was born to bring the two religions closer together. “Sikh” simply means “disciple”. Chat. There was a lot to do and everyone who came was willing to help out. While in a nearby courtyard, the men were staging a mock sword fight, much to everyone’s amusement. The sword is seen as an important tool to defend the downtrodden and weak, and Khalsa’s disciples dressed in blue and gold carried the symbolic weapon.

We return to the water’s edge through a side door adorned with tinsel and lights, and finally we head towards the Darshani Deorchi, the impressive door decorated with a silver opening that faces the causeway, which crosses the water to the inner sanctuary. Truly privileged, we joined the long orderly queue waiting to enter this most sacred part of the Harmandir Sahib. Many of the fabulous decorations are due to the generosity of Maharaja Ranjit Singh, the 19th century Sikh leader known as the “Lion of Punjab.” Among his many gifts were 100 kg of gold to cover the dome and some precious marbles. We marveled at the inverted lotus, pinnacles, columns, gazebo window, and fluted domes, all gleaming and finely carved, and time seemed to fly.

The upper floor greeted us with a gleaming hall of mirrors and a square atrium that allowed everyone to look at the jeweled canopy, protecting the Holy Book on the floor below. The reading resounded like a heavenly whisper and all around were semi-precious stones, stained glass, embossed copper, sacred verses from religious scriptures, and different types of floral and animal patterns that embellished every space, wall, ceiling and arch. They included some human figures. Some say it is a mix of Hindu and Mughal designs, while others call it uniquely Sikh. Either way, the astonishing wall art is largely the work of unknown artists and a moving testimony to their faith.

There is little room for movement within the inner sanctuary. So, after one last look at the view from the terrace, we returned to our underworld where we received a small portion of Karah Parsad, the sanctified sweet pudding. We reflected on the simple practice of good deeds and kind words, truth, faith and equality, and the vision of heaven as ‘merging with the Divine Spirit, like a spark in fire’. When the sun reached its highest point, the temple lit up the entire scene and the reflections shone like gold on the lake. Imbued with 500 years of Sikh heritage, the Golden Temple is a living and mystical place to this day.

In the heart of Amritsar, a long white wall greets you with a clock tower and pretty arched windows, but without the slightest hint of the wonders that lie beyond the central gate. Walk through and when you reach the top of the steps, the Golden Temple was suddenly revealed, glorious and impressive, with domes and parapets reflected in a glittering lake, cloisters, shrines, sacred trees, and pilgrim saris waving in the light. Time stands still, words are few in this beautiful oasis, spirituality becomes tangible.

Located in Bari Doab, the ‘land of the two rivers’ in Punjab, the site was known in ancient times as a place where wandering sages and holy men meditated by the lake, much smaller then and surrounded by the forest Buddha came here they say. , and was followed some 2,000 years later by Guru Nanak, founder of the Sikh faith. Born in 1469, hailed as a child prodigy in divine affairs, Guru Nanak traveled a lot and declared that there is no Hindu, there is no Muslim. Sikhism was born to bring the two religions closer together. “Sikh” simply means “disciple”. Chat. There was a lot to do and everyone who came was willing to help out. While in a nearby courtyard, the men were staging a mock sword fight, much to everyone’s amusement. The sword is seen as an important tool to defend the downtrodden and weak, and Khalsa’s disciples dressed in blue and gold carried the symbolic weapon.

We return to the water’s edge through a side door adorned with tinsel and lights, and finally we head towards the Darshani Deorchi, the impressive door decorated with a silver opening that faces the causeway, which crosses the water to the inner sanctuary. Truly privileged, we joined the long orderly queue waiting to enter this most sacred part of the Harmandir Sahib. Many of the fabulous decorations are due to the generosity of Maharaja Ranjit Singh, the 19th century Sikh leader known as the “Lion of Punjab.” Among his many gifts were 100 kg of gold to cover the dome and some precious marbles. We marveled at the inverted lotus, pinnacles, columns, gazebo window, and fluted domes, all gleaming and finely carved, and time seemed to fly.

The upper floor greeted us with a gleaming hall of mirrors and a square atrium that allowed everyone to look at the jeweled canopy, protecting the Holy Book on the floor below. The reading resounded like a heavenly whisper and all around were semi-precious stones, stained glass, embossed copper, sacred verses from religious scriptures, and different types of floral and animal patterns that embellished every space, wall, ceiling and arch. They included some human figures. Some say it is a mix of Hindu and Mughal designs, while others call it uniquely Sikh. Either way, the astonishing wall art is largely the work of unknown artists and a moving testimony to their faith.

There is little room for movement within the inner sanctuary. So, after one last look at the view from the terrace, we returned to our underworld where we received a small portion of Karah Parsad, the sanctified sweet pudding. We reflected on the simple practice of good deeds and kind words, truth, faith and equality, and the vision of heaven as ‘merging with the Divine Spirit, like a spark in fire’. When the sun reached its highest point, the temple lit up the entire scene and the reflections shone like gold on the lake. Imbued with 500 years of Sikh heritage, the Golden Temple is a living and mystical place to this day.