“My ex boyfriend is out of touch, I miss him so much!” That starts a lot of conversations women have in the days after they break up. They wake up one day, text his ex-boyfriend, try to call him, and then realize he’s following the no contact rule. The knowledge that the man you still love is purposely ignoring you is a bitter pill to swallow. It’s hard and it’s real. He hurts and can leave a woman obsessed with the broken relationship and what she can do to fix it. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed and incredibly worried when you accept the fact that your ex is no longer talking to you. Instead of panicking, there is a better way. Acceptance will help you immensely and may even be the key to getting him back to you.
The positive side of no contact
You already know that no contact can have a positive impact on the strained connection between you and your ex boyfriend. Essentially, with a little time apart and some distance to fully understand life without each other, the two of you can realize that you are meant to be together and you will live happily ever after. You really need to focus on this while your boyfriend continues to drift away from you. Consider the fact that, over time, you probably would have decided not to get in touch if given the chance.
Your ex-boyfriend just beat you to it, so you’re going to follow his lead and also take some time to sort out what you’re feeling. This is your chance to put the relationship and its problems aside for a while. If you allow it, this break from the emotional turmoil you’ve been experiencing can be an opportunity to recharge your soul and spirit.
Stay strong by focusing on anything but your ex boyfriend
When a relationship falls apart and one partner decides to cut off all contact, the other person is likely to be hurt. In this case, it’s you, and part of that pain is related to rejection. Even though you two broke up, it’s still hard to accept that your ex boyfriend doesn’t want to talk to you or communicate with you at all. You need to look past this and focus on anything but him. It’s very easy to fall into a rut where you constantly feel sorry for yourself. If you do that, you’ll miss every email I’ve ever sent you, you’ll look back at old pictures of the two of you together, and you won’t be able to move forward at all.
You need to find something new to focus your attention on while your ex boyfriend takes this time to think about what he wants. A good way to accomplish this is to start with a project that you have been putting on the back burner. It could be something as simple as reading a novel you bought months ago, or maybe you’re feeling more ambitious and want to tackle painting your apartment. Just pick something you’d like to take off your to-do list and get it done. You will find that not only do you stop thinking about your ex, but you will also feel proud of yourself.
The way to break contact
Right now, you would probably give anything to get your ex boyfriend to contact you again. As the days go by and you avoid him, you will notice that the urge to call or text him will lessen. At what point do you not break contact and approach him? Under normal circumstances, if you’re able to avoid any contact, he’ll probably make the first move himself. It may take several weeks for him to do this, or it could happen after a few days.
If he doesn’t call or text, you’ll have to take matters into your own hands. You have to handle this in a diplomatic way. The best approach is to do it as a friend, by communicating with him. Don’t mention anything that happened to you and don’t ask him anything other than how he is. It is better that you do this in the form of a text message. If you call him and he doesn’t answer, you’ll be forced to sound cheerful and carefree while leaving a voicemail message. In text, you don’t have to worry about your behavior. Just ask how he is and leave it at that.
If he doesn’t reply, don’t send another message. Instead, wait for him to reply. He may be waiting in an effort to see if you become more persistent. By being patient and not seeming to care too much about whether he responds or not, you will be baiting the hook that will attract his interest again. Men love it when a woman plays shy, so show her you’re a master at it.
