We are all in a time of great stress and national disasters often create fear. Left untreated, these fears can lead to “misbehaving” behaviors, such as drinking too much or creating relationship, job, or money problems as a distraction. To avoid these types of problems, follow these simple steps to resolve your fear and anxiety.

1. Learn to recognize the signs of your own anxiety. If you can’t sleep, worry a lot, “ruminate” or obsess over negative possibilities, or are unusually irritable or needy, you are probably anxious.

2. Give yourself the opportunity to complain and express your fear. When you are faced with the unintended changes that are the result of a disaster, you will have some resistance and objections to dealing with it. Take time to complain and feel unhappy about the situation. Express as many negative thoughts and feelings as possible, either verbally or on paper. If your fear is really overwhelming, a therapist can help you with this part.

3. Assess your fears and complaints. Take some time to consider the points you made on your list. Is there anything you can do differently? You want? Have you made all the decisions you could? Are you thinking clearly about the problem? Are you mad at someone specifically? Are you resisting unnecessarily? If you have a choice, do you still want to change things? If you have no other choice, can you see some alternatives? Do your options seem different to you now?

4. Make friends with yourself to build trust. Discuss the problem with yourself in the same way that you would with another friend. Come up with ideas, realistic or even silly, about what you could do to make things better. For instance:

• I could move to Timbuktu and avoid it all.

• I could talk to Harry and see if he can help me think about this.

• You could ask Martha for help.

• I could find a genius and make this all better.

• I could win millions in the lottery and be able to buy my security.

• I could get on with my life, doing the best I can, and trust that God will take care of me.

5. Do your best to verify the safety facts and consider all possibilities to take care of yourself and your loved ones.

6. Review and decide. Once you have expressed your anger and disappointment, evaluated your feelings, brainstormed, and verified the facts, you will feel much more in charge of yourself and this situation. Review what you’ve discovered and make some decisions.

7. Sell yourself on a positive outcome. Think of all the possible great results of the changes you are making. Consider what you will learn from him. Find out how you can maximize the benefits of making the change. When you’ve convinced yourself, make a commitment to your plan.

8. Post and follow your plan. Make a plan to get the best possible results from this change. Post the plan where you can see it and read it every day. Do your best to follow the plan so that you feel safe. – taken from The 10 smartest decisions a woman can make before 40. https://tinyurl.com/yd66ab4e