If you are in doubt about whether you and your ex should have separated, you are not alone. Many others have felt the same. Second thoughts are typical. The key is to analyze the reasons you are giving yourself for WHY you think the relationship was meant to be, after all.
If your ex was right for you, the relationship wouldn’t have ended if one of you left her to pursue other options. When you have this feeling and act accordingly, one can assume that it is a “gut” feeling that you have received. In other words, something gave him a warning sign that things weren’t meant to work. Whether you saw it that way or not, it was most likely a TRUE reaction.
Are you coming to the conclusion that you should have stayed with your ex after you or your ex broke up only to find that the grass really ISN’T greener on the other side? The thing to think about is that, as human beings, we enjoy COMFORTABLE relationships – the “old standby.” Even if the relationship is really not good, we tend to go back to what we know. This is a vicious cycle that must be stopped. Perhaps it is time to look forward and not back. You will always find good reasons that will lead you back to your comfortable relationship. Most likely, the amenities will not be enough after a while and you will repeat the break-up cycle again.
Sometimes the breaking point in relationships is when you “come out” as a couple. Things are good and they are both happy and content … while it was a secret. So when you start telling people about it, it’s not that much fun. The mystery and romance have disappeared and now what is left? That happens A LOT. Don’t think it’s just your relationship. Often times, it is the secret of the relationship that holds it together! Again, this would be the time to move on and do some things that you enjoy for a while instead of focusing on the past relationship.
If you come to the conclusion that this was not really a good relationship and what you miss are the good times, you can move on. You will have closure because you have decided that it is not worth your time. You can attribute it to a lesson learned.
The other side of the coin would be deciding that it IS worth talking to your ex to see if there might be a resolution and a possible chance to start over. If that’s the case, you’ll also feel confident that you’ve thought it through carefully. Most importantly, take it easy, step by step. If the relationship is really meant to be, it will happen on its own.
